This story starts five months ago, when a friend posted a picture of tickets to a new haunted house on WeChat. We were like hell yeah, that will make an awesome article.
Nope.
That "haunted house" consisted of a five minute walk through an unused portion of a fourth-tier mall filled with cheap decorations from Taobao and the occasional Henan uncle jumping out and roaring at us. This was after waiting an hour while the ghosts had their lunch break. We asked the woman working the entrance why they set this up and she just laughed and said "to make money." Moral of the story -- don't ever go to a Haunted House in a Chinese mall.
So after that, we swore off haunted houses in China. Then that same friend posted some pictures of a haunted hospital a few months later. This one looked really good, so we said alright, fuck it. Let's go.
Well, the Haunted Hospital is really proper and you should go. It is not located in a mall.
Chinese people will tell you that Asian ghosts are scarier than Western ghosts. Something about black magic down in Thailand and vengeful ghosts in the Chinese countryside. I know Chinese people that will laugh through Chucky, Jason, Saw, Freddie -- whatever. But ask them to watch an Asian horror movie or go to a haunted house and they freak out. Several friends have politely declined my invitations to this place.
We went on Monday and it is actually pretty damn scary. Located just down the block from the , this place is part of a larger fortress of gaming and entertainment called "Pulupulupulu." For search enhancement and SEO we've gone with the translation "Haunted Hospital."
Aside from the the 2000 square meter Haunted Hospital, they have six elaborate escape game rooms, a la but bigger and more professional, and what they claim is "Asia's largest mirror maze." Also a tavern that does not serve beer. They said that if people drink before the haunted house that could be a realllllllll bad scene. Apparently people just lose their minds in haunted houses here and start punching employees.
We don't want to give away too much, but there's been an outbreak. It's not Ebola, but rather something worse. The hospital is filled with infected patients and doctors, and your survival requires a 25-30 minute escape down dark staircases, through rooms full of bloody medical equipment, and down dank, eerie corridors. Zombies will chase you down the halls. There is an "I need to get the fuck out of here right now here" door halfway through. The employees say people cry here every day. Kids under 16 are not admitted without an adult.
Serious efforts made on the decorations here. This ain't no ride through Taobao's Halloween section -- everything is custom. It even smells like a real Chinese hospital; just a bit more haunted.
And the ticket price is totally fair -- 100rmb during the week, 120rmb on weekends. Ghosts gotta get paid too, man. Aside from the Haunted House, there's this -- "the biggest mirror maze in Asia."
Only part I'm confused about -- if you're going to build the biggest mirror maze in Asia, why not just build the biggest mirror maze in the world? Feel like that should be in China anyway. Anyway this is also rad, on some Enter The Dragon shit. They make you wear plastic gloves to avoid smudging all the mirrors you're going to run into. It took us five minutes to get out, but some people don't ever make it...This one is just 30rmb.
Also this Matrix room. Not sure what's going on here. Then there's the six escape rooms, which they wouldn't let us take any pictures of. We toured a few though. Pretty elaborate, much like an actual vampire's house. Apparently only three groups solved the puzzles in the hardest room in the last year. Those are 150rmb per person for an hour. If you're into escaping from rooms, this looks pretty damn cool.
So yeah. Haunted hospital. Totally recommend it, especially considering the price. I actually fell down I got so startled when a zombie burst out of a door. This is not just some Halloween pop-up either -- they're open all year and will expand to Nanjing in 2015.
Might be a good warm-up for when Ebola hits, or just a fun way to see your significant other get more shook than Mobb Deep.
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The is located at 139 Miaojiang Lu, near Bansongyuan Lu. They're open daily from noon-10pm, but they stop selling tickets at 8.30pm.
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