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Located in new-feeling mall right by Line 7’s Dachang Town in North Jing’an is W1NNER, a slick, neon-drenched indoor go-karting track. “Indoor” might evoke petrol fume headaches. Not a concern here: W1NNER is all sleek, vibration-less, decidedly un-tingly electric cars.

Your friendly neighbourhood Smartticket is hosting a deal -- get your tickets .

They make you sit through a health-and-safety video that’s entirely in Chinese, so I’ll run it down for you:

1. It’s not bumper cars.
2. Right pedal is go, left is stop.
3. Hold the red button if you need to reverse.
4. Do not exit your vehicle while on the track. Wave your hands if you need help.
5. Watch out going into turns in case the drivers in front of you spin out and you smite them like the right hand of blind Justice. It’s not bumper cars.
6. It’s not bumper cars.

Basic stuff.

They have the full Max Verstappen available if you want. Sizes go up to XXL but if you’re over six feet...

Deet, deet, deet, doooot!

The track is pretty good! The Explorer brand e-carts don’t rumble enough to bring you to climax, but you can still work up a lather pounding down the straight-away at (up to) 55km/h. The wheels squeal suggestively, there are lots of contorted hairpin turns to fold yourself around, and the up-and-down bits at the end keep it interesting.

You get eight minutes on the 418 meter track, and they upload your fastest time to the leaderboard.

Lap time to beat is like 40 seconds. I held the track record of 15 seconds until the staff cancelled it. Apparently you can’t just reverse over the finish line while you’re getting photos and have it count.

But for a glorious minute, I was W1NNER.

How Much Does it Cost?

Did we mention Smartticket is hosting a deal on it . On weekdays, it’s 138rmb, 168rmb on weekends and holidays. 

Worth It?

It’s a little pricier than other spots around town but cleaner and safer than your average karting circuit. The cars accelerate fast, the tires go wheeeeeee, the body gloves are sexy. Plus the mall is right by Line 7, eight stops from Jing’an Temple, so it’s not hard to get to.

But if electric cars don’t do it for you, if you crave the rough purr of a scrap-metal petrol engine under your crotch, I think Disc is still open.