We met and spoke with one of each of the city's L, G, B and T members to get in on some of this awareness action. Here's what we found out.
Ben, 25, is a born and raised Shanghai citizen. He currently works at a university as a teacher and advisor to students who are working on college applications.
SmSh: When did you first realize that you're gay?
Ben: When I was a sophomore at university. At that time, I even had a girlfriend. Generally, I think I gradually realized that I am鈥� oh, a real gay, because I could not feel any real physical impulse for her. I did seem more attracted to the male body. Also, around that time, I watched a news documentary and there was a slogan in that said 鈥渋t鈥檚 ok to be gay鈥�. That was when I was maybe鈥� 20? A lot of people I talked to about this issue, they knew when they were really young. So maybe I was鈥� too late [laughs].
SmSh: Did you deal with any feelings of denial?
Ben: Yeah, that鈥檚 for sure. You know, maybe only five years that I truly believe that I鈥檓 gay. I used 2-3 years of that to assure myself that I wasn鈥檛 gay. During this time, I talked to my friends, and I did struggle a lot.
SmSh: Did you come out to your parents?
Ben: Yes, I came out last November. Because, I thought last year that I had to come out to the people I cherish. I told my father the whole story, and at the beginning, he didn鈥檛 accept the concept. Many Chinese parents, they don鈥檛 know what the word 'gay' means. But then he said, 'You know, I want you to be happy. You need to be who you are.' When I told my friends, they all said I was so lucky. I stressed to him that he cannot tell my mother, because she is a typical Shanghai mother who pays much attention to her face, and who doesn鈥檛 want to disclose this kind of thing to the public. So I told my father, you can鈥檛 tell her.
Then a second time, when I touched on this story with my father again, he said I should have told him earlier. I was really touched at that time. I was ready to talk to my father and tell my mother together with him, and he told me: 'Oh. I have told her on the second day after [you first told me].' He said, she was quite calm and showed not that much attention on this topic.
Frankly speaking, they should have probably known something about me. But that, they didn鈥檛 know what the current situation is. They might even think that 10, 20 years from now, I will become a straight man and have a wife. But you know, compared to typical Shanghai family, I鈥檓 very lucky. Most people, as soon as they hear the word 'gay' 鈥�- they fight, they yell. My parents, they just want me to get married, be myself, at my own wish.
SmSh: Currently seeing anyone?
Ben: I have a boyfriend. He is a typical Chinese gay. Hidden in the closet and unwilling to show himself in the public. He鈥檚 even unwilling to meet my personal friends. No public. We see each other privately.
SmSh: How do most Chinese people react to seeing two men together?
Ben: I have previously seen some surveys, and Chinese people maybe are more willing to accept the concept of gay. Especially Shanghai people, they are more easy to be open about accepting new ideas.
SmSh: Have you ever received negative reactions?
Ben: About 2 months before, I posted some personal things on my Weibo, and I got a lot of comments, very positive and supportive. Even people who I didn鈥檛 know commented to tell me, saying 'You should be yourself. Be happy.' There were one or two people I know who said that maybe I shouldn鈥檛, that I should just be normal. But I think that when they say this, they think that they are being the true friend.
SmSh: What are some major misconceptions people here might have about gay men?
Ben: In China, when we talk about gays in conversation, most people will think 'Oh, it鈥檚 HIV-related.' They think, oh, what do these people do? It鈥檚 orgies and group sex, and blah blah blah -鈥� and you are thus quite likely to get HIV. But of course, this is not true. This year, our Pride theme is mainly three topics. One of them is HIV awareness. We鈥檝e planned some events, like panel discussions, to talk about the truth of these things.
SmSh: Are there lots of gay guys here in Shanghai?
Ben: In Shanghai, there are more gay people above the average level in other places in China. Most gays, I think, know how to be fashionable. And sometimes you really can鈥檛 distinguish between the fashion guys and the gays, I know [laughs].
It鈥檚 very hard to say, because鈥� because maybe in New York or London, it鈥檚 easy for you to see gays. They鈥檒l have a gay act, dress in pink, be very obvious. But in Shanghai, people tend to be very low key. They want to be inconspicuous. You know the radar? Every gay has a radar. In Chinese, there is a word about a woman who is fancying gays, funiu [Editor鈥檚 Note: basically, faghag]. They have the radar too. And you know, like for me, when I talk, I like to use a lot, a lot of gestures [gestures a lot to illustrate this point]. Straight people do this when they talk [hangs hand limply].
SmSh: And where to meet them, the gays of Shanghai?
Ben: In Shanghai, a lot of the international guys like to go to or . A lot of people, they want the international gays. They don鈥檛 want the local guys. It鈥檚 funny. Some people, maybe they just want to practice their English or have a fashionable international look to them.
Anyway, many local Chinese people will like to go to places like . A lot of my local friends, they like to go there鈥� it鈥檚 um... I guess, more sexy. A lot of half-naked people.
SmSh: Outside of these bars and clubs, how do you meet other gay men?
Ben: Most people in Shanghai, they use . A lot of people use this. Also, a lot of local companies have created local apps for people here. Jack'd is the most popular one. It鈥檚 a popular way, because 20 years ago, without these apps, maybe it was hard to see who is gay.
SmSh: Are there any kind of, say, trends that are distinctive among the Shanghai gay crowd?
Ben: Just two or three days before, I talked to my friend, who is from Dongbei -- Northeast China. In the north area, there should be more top people. In Shanghai, there should be more bottom people. You know, it鈥檚 a cultural thing. In northern parts, people are more mannish, more masculine. In southern part, maybe, people are more feminine. You can see on these apps鈥� there are many bottoms, so many bottoms, and versatiles here.
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Pride5 starts this Saturday the 15th with a Pride5 , and later in the night. For the full schedule of week-long events, click .
Portraits by Marc Ressang at the bar in .
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