We met and spoke with one of each of the city's L, G, B and T members to get in on some of this awareness action. Here's what we found out.
Linda, 33, was raised in Holland and moved to Shanghai straight out of college after a Forbes 500 company headhunted her and brought her over. She is nearing her eleventh year living here.
SmSh: So, when did you first realize that you're a lesbian?
Linda: I think I was 15 to 16. I was a total bookworm geek, so I went to the library to find out. We didn鈥檛 have Internet at that time. I just looked around the social section of the library, the human body, your body鈥檚 changing, things like that. And it kinda clicked, like, whoa. Huh. Could be.
SmSh: Have you come out to your parents?
Linda: I came out like, when I kind of seriously started to date one girlfriend. I told my mom, and she said that it was just a phase. She said, 鈥淣o, you鈥檙e lying. You don鈥檛 know what love is鈥�. And then she started to cry. It was like, to her, 鈥淚 failed as a mother鈥�. And then she started thinking, 鈥淥K, well, we鈥檒l send you to China, arrange a marriage there鈥�. And then it became 鈥測ou鈥檒l die alone鈥�.
You know, she didn鈥檛 bring it up again after that, until like, last year. And she actually turned around a bit, she said 鈥淵ou should actually get married in Holland. You鈥檇 have more rights there鈥�. So that was really nice. Really positive.
SmSh: And what about your dad?
Linda: Oh, he will totally kill me. He doesn鈥檛 know. He鈥檚 a very strict, conservative man 鈥�- believes very much in strong family values, that you know, my goal is to get married, have a baby, and only then I鈥檓 complete.
SmSh: He鈥檚 been pressuring you for that?
Linda: Oh. Every day. You know, when my parents came here, they even went to that, you know how at People鈥檚 Park, you can put your son鈥檚 or daughter鈥檚 resume up there to find a match. Yeah. But apparently I wasn鈥檛 good for the market because I鈥檓 considered a foreigner here.
SmSh: What鈥檚 a major misconception that people here have about lesbians?
Linda: The thing is, I have had a really positive experience 鈥�- growing up in Holland, living here in Shanghai -鈥� much more positive than someone who comes from a very socially conservative place. So the only thing I don鈥檛 like is, when my friends鈥� guy frinds, they think they can joke with me about girls. That鈥檚 like鈥� yeah, I don鈥檛 mind to talk, and to make stupid sexist jokes about girls. But sometimes they think, 鈥極h, I can push it more because she鈥檚 a lesbian anyway鈥�. That鈥檚 just so lame.
SmSh: Oh, I see. So you鈥檙e one of those angry, man-hating lesbians, eh?
Linda: Hey, I like guys in uniforms. You know, I see Tom Cruise in a uniform, or Brad Pitt, and it gets my heart beating. But it鈥檚 not like I wanna have sex with them. Or you know, I see a six pack in GQ, and I鈥檒l think 鈥楬ey. Not bad!鈥�, but it鈥檚 not like I have those raging hormones. No, no -- what I really hate are鈥� ugh, you know鈥� those guys who are convinced that they can 'save' lesbians. The ones who say, 鈥楬ey, one night with me鈥︹�� Or they want threesomes. Those guys.
SmSh: How do you meet other lesbians here?
Linda: So, we have an app, called 聽app. It鈥檚 a free app. It鈥檚 based on location services, you know? I noticed that the users are very young though. Young cute girls, 22-24. I sometimes get really inappropriate photos, by the way. They will like鈥�. Whoa. [And I think to myself] 'I don鈥檛 even know you!' But yeah鈥� Body parts! Showing!
SmSh: Wait, these are real girls? Not some ads for escort services and stuff?
Linda: Yeah! I mean, you know, like in the news, you hear about kids sending each other naughty photos鈥� And I鈥檓 thinking鈥� Oh, I don鈥檛 reply to that. They鈥檙e thinking they can send those out, and spark a conversation, probably鈥�
SmSh: Are most of the girls using this app in Shanghai -鈥� foreigners? Local women?
Linda: So far, from what I can see so far, it鈥檚 mostly local, I mean鈥� Chinese girls. And you know, I used this app when I was on holiday in Singapore, Malaysia, Brunei, and it works there too. It鈥檚 a worldwide thing... Yeah, so you know, you鈥檝e got this L App, you can meet them that way 鈥�- none successful for me so far... and then, for Pride, we have this forum called , it鈥檚 for women only and鈥� this is a group where we would like to see you first, and then we add you. I mean, we have no problems, it鈥檚 just that sometimes we get these 鈥楳y girlfriend is bi, and we wanna do stuff鈥�, so鈥eah. Or sometimes people think it鈥檚 just an online group, and they don鈥檛 really know what the point is, so we have to check it out first.
SmSh: And what about outside of the digital world?
Linda: Every second Tuesday of the month at , we get together. Every last Wednesday of the month, we have that ladies鈥� night at too.
SmSh: That鈥檚 it? Versus the 10,000 venues for gay guys?
Linda: Yeah, I鈥檓 very sad about this too. You know, the group is not that big, um鈥� usually, I know everybody. Especially the expats, or the semi-expats, we all tend to know each other. That monthly meeting at 颁辞迟迟辞苍鈥檚 is usually the biggest.
SmSh: In that kind of situation, do you see a lot of鈥� overlapping?
Linda: Oh yeah, total incest over there. I mean [laughs] not total incest, but it will always be like that. A dated B and B dated C and C dated A and you know, it happens. It鈥檚 a small group. There are some local groups too, like uh鈥� every Friday and Saturday at , at those clubs there鈥� there鈥檚 a local group, all Chinese.
Linda with some affectionate boob grabbers at last year's Pride picnic. Photo courtesy of interviewee.
SmSh: What are some of the 鈥渢ypes鈥� you see here, when it comes to female鈥揻emale relationships?
Linda: What we do, you know, we scale girls from one to ten -鈥� one being the total girly-girl, ten being the stonebutch. You know, stonebutch is someone who does not want to be touched. For me, I鈥檓 more of a tomboy look on the outside, but I鈥檓 actually a real girly-girl on the inside. Within Chinese circles, you have the three letters. T is for tomboy, P is for 'laopuo' 鈥�- you know, wife 鈥�- and H means like, 'bufen', or versatile.
SmSh: How does the Shanghainese population generally react to lesbians?
Linda: I think, if you鈥檙e talking about Shanghai, it鈥檚 a place where people think 鈥�- as long as it鈥檚 not in my backyard. As long as it鈥檚 not my daughter, I鈥檓 fine with it. Also, I think what happens is people still think that it鈥檚 just a phase, that it鈥檚 something you will grow out of. But I think in a smaller city, in the middle of China, it鈥檚 much more difficult [to be out]. But I do think that people here in mainland China are a lot more open-minded about this than overseas Chinese -- they're way more traditional about this kind of thing... really religious, you know.
SmSh: And what do you hope an event like Pride5 will be able to do?
Linda: I think the reason we dress up as tomboys is that we want to show, make it known that we are visible. But you look in the West, and now, there鈥檚 less of a need to feel that you need to do that. Same as the feminist movement, you know, like 鈥�- I don鈥檛 feel the need to burn my bra on the street anymore, alright? So when the time comes, I think in Asia, people will no longer feel like they need to announce that they鈥檙e gay. And I won鈥檛 need to say 鈥淗i, my name is Linda. I鈥檓 gay.鈥� It鈥檚 just a part of my identity. It鈥檚 not all who I am.
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Pride5 starts this Saturday the 15th with a Pride5 , and later in the night. For the full schedule of week-long events, click .
Portraits by Marc Ressang at the bar in .
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