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I鈥檓 Melanie Ham, co-founder of . My friend Linda and I started it in 2006 as an outgrowth of a play group that met on Fridays. We made a Yahoo thread to connect people and share tips about where to find things like band-aids with characters on them because at that point it was harder to find supplies around town. Somewhere around 2009 the group got a little too big with almost 2,000 people so we built out a website.

We鈥檙e a single point of entry for people new to Shanghai, we turn up pretty high on a Google search for 鈥減arenting in Shanghai鈥� so we鈥檙e focused on arrivals鈥�and WeChat groups, lots of WeChat groups. We鈥檙e a non-profit run by volunteers so anything we earn goes back into the community, like coffee mornings where parents can meet other parents, form connections, and make friends.



There鈥檚 a loss of identity that comes with moving to Shanghai especially as a 鈥渢railing spouse鈥� (a term I actually hate). You may be taking a break from your career, so it鈥檚 actually common for parents to take a baby break soon after arriving. This loss of identity mixed with becoming a new parent can make for a tumultuous time. I came here in 2003 with my husband, his job brought us here. From there our daughter was born and four years later our son came along. Living here for a long time, you meet a lot of people and where you see a need you fill a need. That鈥檚 what Shanghai Mamas has done for families, it's a way to grow a support network.

I鈥檝e also been with from the beginning, which was built out of a need for Rh negative blood since there was a low supply at the Hongqiao blood bank. Bloodline formed as a database of Rh negative people so we could bring them in to donate if there was an emergency.



I think I would have been a social worker in another life, but you can鈥檛 really do that here, so community organizing is my way to give back. My actual job is lactation consultant, I help moms with new babies that are having challenges breastfeeding. To get them completely latched on, educate, and help moms problem solve any issues. Breastfeeding is something people think of as natural, but it鈥檚 actually a skill and can be really difficult. There are usually just little things to tinker with to make it easier.

My daughter just started high school at so we鈥檙e locked in for four years. It鈥檚 an amazing school, I wish I went somewhere like that growing up, and she just loves it. There are always school events, and I鈥檓 my daughter鈥檚 Girl Scout troop leader. As a troop we do a lot of service work and right now we鈥檙e studying consumer decisions around food. We don鈥檛 sell the official Girl Scout cookies but to be fair I don鈥檛 think you鈥檇 want a moldy Thin Mints coming through customs. We do make our own 鈥淢inty Thins鈥� very similar to Thin Mints but better.



As a family, we always like to explore, so we鈥檒l often just grab Mobikes and ride around. We鈥檝e been in Old Town since we bought a lane house in 2007 (it was easier back then). There鈥檚 not a ton of restaurants around us, but really good noodle shops. There鈥檚 also in Xintiandi, it鈥檚 a combination of Sichuan and Taiwanese and quite good. If we鈥檙e going out my favorite spot is , I love their ceviche.

We have no regrets, but I think my kids have a feeling that they don鈥檛 really know where they鈥檙e from. When we鈥檙e back in the U.S. people ask and they鈥檒l say 鈥淎merica!鈥� And that鈥檚 not really an answer you give to somebody in America. My husband is from Shanghai and he grew up here, so when we go back we stay in my hometown Highlands, North Carolina. We鈥檝e always wanted our kids to feel at home in both places but as they get older it gets harder and harder.

I鈥檓 a strong believer in trusting instincts, if there鈥檚 a little voice in your head that鈥檚 telling you something listen to that voice or at least explore what that voice has to say. For parents and in general, it鈥檚 important to let go and realize you can鈥檛 control everything. Especially here.